Meet Ellen Greenhill.

Things you didn’t know about the fabulous Ellen Greenhill:

1. She has more than nine lives.

2. She enjoys eating boxed Macaroni and Cheese with sliced hotdogs.

3. Nostradamus prophesied her birth.

4. Her garage floor is so clean you could eat off of it.

5. She is extremely well organized, even her cars have their own file folders.

6. Her guacamole inspired the term ‘holy guacamole.’

7. She once warned a psychic.

8. When she heckles comedians, they give her a standing ovation.

9. Her charm is so contagious, vaccines were created for it.

10. Even her parrot’s advice is insightful.

11. The police often question her, just because they find her interesting.

12. She once had an awkward moment, just to see how it felt.

13. She survived being lost in the jungle on the island of La Digue in the Seychelles.

14. She’s a lover… Not a fighter, but she’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.

15. Her business card just says, “I’ll call you.”

16. She once thought she was wrong, but she wasn’t.

17. Her legend precedes her, the way lightning precedes thunder.

18. She lives vicariously through herself.

19. At museums she’s allowed to touch the art.

20. She’s against cruelty to animals, and isn’t afraid to issue a stern warning.

21. If she rides with you in your car, its resale value will instantly increase.

22. The pheromones she secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.